Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Pot smoking Baristas....

I'm not sure if I should be critiquing myself here or critiquing those that annoy me. What is it with totally out of it people that work in coffee shops? Is it a requirement for the job that you smoke a whole bunch of weed before you roll out of bed and saunter into work in the morning where your main task is to serve the caffeine addicted, grumpy, impatient clientele in Washington D.C.? We are not just getting coffee because we are on our way to a museum people, we are grabbing our first cup of joe to keep us moving in this insanely fast paced life. I have no time for your leisurely interactions and casual conversations with the customer in front of me that has already purchased their coffee and just decided to chat it up this fine Tuesday morning. What the hell? Get out of my way, let me order, I have my cash in hand, and give me that iced americano.

This morning at Dolcezza, my favorite cafe in DC (though that's not saying much because there is very little competition), the woman behind the counter spoke as if she just got off the waves on the beach, hit the pipe, then strolled into work. She looked at me with confusion, not understanding why I was standing there...in line....at the store....gee, I wonder! She continued to chat it up with her colleagues, looked around, said "yeah" a lot and then finally asked me if I wanted anything. Duh!?!?!?!! After I placed my order, she played around on the computer screen trying to figure out how much it cost, laughing in utter joy at how she accidentally added a 1 to the total which made it a larger number than it was supposed to be. Oh! Gafaw!!!! How hilarious!!! WTF?!

But then again, I don't think I should be critiquing the barista as much as someone should be reading me the riot act for my impatient, un-American behavior. I mean seriously, do I need to be that annoyed, that grumpy, and rolling my eyes so strongly that I cannot enjoy people's pleasant morning conversations on a beautiful day like today? Why instead am I consumed with the desire to yell at that barista and go behind the counter myself and make my own cup of coffee while yelling, "idiot!" Ok, calm down. Maybe I'm the problem. The simple answer to this is for me to have my coffee before I leave the house and I am required to interact with other humans, but that defeats the whole purpose.

Life is hard.

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